People of Perley - Neil Cochrane
Neil Cochrane remembers the exact moment he became a volunteer at Perley Health. He was visiting a former neighbour when a volunteer recruitment poster caught his eye. After nine years of retirement, he thought this might be his next chapter.
“I was looking for something new, something challenging, something where I could learn and make a contribution,” he says. “So I signed up.”
A year later he's exactly where he asked to be – where he is needed most. Neil brings residents to exercise classes on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, and to Ecumenical service on Tuesday afternoon. Concerts and special events fill in the rest, steady hands on wheelchairs, familiar faces, a smile and a kind word at the ready.
Exercising alongside residents was never in the official job description, but it quickly became a highlight for Neil. “The more people doing the exercises, including the instructor and volunteers, the more likely the residents are to join in,” says Neil. “And we try to make it fun.”
Fun might mean delivering a theatrically comical hamstring stretch, or the gentle mischief of handing over a favoured pink dumbbell while calling it by another colour. “She asks for the pink one but I call it a different colour,” he laughs. “It's our thing now.”
Humour opens the door, but listening keeps it open. Neil's mantra is: “listen, acknowledge, share, care.”
“You never know when someone will open up and start telling you stories of their life, stories of achievements they're proud of, stories that are historically significant, or talk about their sorrows and their pain.”
As a writer and author of the memoir, Beyond Numbers: Stories from an Immigration Insider, it's not surprising these stories stay with him. He recalls a resident describing how Christmas changed forever when her husband died suddenly on Christmas Eve many years before, leaving her to raise three children under ten. “To be there in that moment when she needed to share, it's pretty special,” says Neil.
As a volunteer, Neil often feels awed by simple acts of daily care. “The compassion and the kindness, the patience and the encouragement that I hear from staff as they're helping the resident get ready for the day, it's remarkable.”
“This place is really overflowing with kindness.”
Neil came to Perley with a personal understanding of long-term care. His mother-in-law had lived in a care home while living with dementia, and the experience changed him. “That was my first introduction to being around people living with dementia,” explains Neil. “I found I had something to contribute. Later I realized this was something I could build on.”
And he has built on his experience. Neil recently completed Gentle Persuasive Approaches (GPA) training alongside staff. He describes it as a turning point that boosted his confidence and understanding of residents living with dementia.
New opportunities to volunteer at Perley happily find him. He has been working with a tenant of the Perley Health Senior Living apartments, providing companionship and giving the man's spouse a bit of respite. More recently, a fellow volunteer invited him along to deliver personalized welcome blankets to new residents on behalf of the Perley Health Foundation.
“We were the welcome wagon,” he recalls. “You could see their gratitude. They felt seen. Really seen.”
Neil's future volunteering plans at Perley are modest and thoughtful. “I don't see it ending anytime soon,” he says. “I'm learning so much. I've met so many nice people. I'm making a contribution. What more could you ask for?”
“The compassion and the kindness, the patience and the encouragement that I hear from staff as they're helping the resident get ready for the day, it's remarkable.” Neil Cochrane, Volunteer